Today's list is something near and dear to my heart. I hate talking on the phone. Here are the reasons why I hate it:
- Lip reading: I can't really lip read, but often times I have a hard time understanding what people say and seeing their lips flap helps a ton. Even seeing the look on their face can help me understand what they are saying.
- Jokes: I can say something in person to a...um...person and it will come off as totally funny, but then I say the same thing to a person on the phone and all they think is, "that guy is kind of a jerk." And this can all happen vice versa. This kind of ties in with the last point, but you don't get the view of facial ticks and cues to let you know that the person is trying to be funny, so you can know whether to laugh politely or run.
- Bathroom talking: There you are talking to a person for like 30 minutes and then you hear water running. Yep they had been sitting on the toilet, that most private of times, talking to you. Now I know I do this to God a lot, but he designed the whole system so I don't think he is as disgusted by it as I am.
- Mumbling: It seems like half the people I know mumble on the phone, or let their voice trail off so I have no idea what they were saying. 'Argh' is all I can say to that. Of course they do this in person too, but it kind of goes back to the first point in that regard.
- Distractions: This seems to be the worse for my wife for some reason. We talk on the phone and I miss half of what she says because I am focused on work, or the TV or the computer or watching some old guy stroll down the street with those poles you use when you ski. And I hate to ask people to repeat themselves when I missed what they say. I just wind up nodding in agreement, even though they can't see it and then tell them I'll talk to them later.
- Not having anything to say or knowing what to say: There you are sitting with the phone in your hand and neither person has anything to say. Its awkward. If you were sitting next to each other you could both gawk at the guy with the poles and not need to say a word, but since you are on the phone, burning through the minutes you have an abundance of, its just weird, and uncomfortable. And you never know if the other person is wanting to get off the phone or wants to talk more. It would help if I were a better conversationalist, but that's probably not going to change anytime soon.
- One Question, Thirty Minutes: Texting has solved this one, until you need to ask a person who doesn't have texting. I repeat, ARGH! You just want to know if its suppose to be 1 teaspoon or 1 tablespoon, or red or orange, or paper or plastic, and then its 'how's your day going?' 'how's Charleigh?' 'do you think she'll be scarred from having a boy's name?' 'Is it 'lie' or 'y'?' Actually its leigh, and she'll be all the tougher for it, GOOD BYE! Okay, even though I'm a poor conversationalist, I would never respond that way, I'm too big of a softeigh!
- Never knowing when to say goodbye: This falls into that always awkward stage. For family its easy, cause you just say 'I love you' or 'Love ya!' and wait for the reply before saying bye and hanging up. I can't really do that with my boss....actually I probably could, but it might make things awkward next time we saw each other. But you call, you ask your one question after catching up on life, kids and career, and then you both sit there in that uncomfortable silence trying to figure out if you should initiate the good bye and try to not make the person feel like you didn't enjoy chatting with them.
- Time: You never know what the other person is in the middle of when you call someone. I hate interrupting people, so you call and have to ask, is this a good time, or are you busy. Text's and emails bypass this and allow you to ask your one question without taking up a half an hour of the other person's time, unless they are a super slow texter (I know a couple of these).
I don't call people. Actually, I do call occasionally, but I suck at it and I hate talking on the phone which you've hopefully gathered from reading the rest of this post. I have lost a couple friends over the fact that I never call, but I wonder if it is a genetic thing, my family isn't big on calling. Our calls to each other are often infrequent and tend to only occur around birthdays and big events (I think my wife talks to her family multiple times a week, which feels odd to me). My sister told me once not to feel bad about not calling cause she hasn't called me either. So that has become my philosophy. If you feel bad because I don't call you, just call me, the phone works both ways! I will talk with you because I do enjoy speaking with friends even if the medium we use to do so is less than perfect!
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