A meeting of thoughts...

So in an effort to spur communication about budget issues at work today we had an all staff meeting that last an hour and a half. 

These were some of my thoughts through out....

1. PowerPoint, awesome.  not really.
2. I don't think most people get the idea that PowerPoint is suppose to be a graphic that shows one's 'points' and not some teleprompter behind them.
3. It would be dumb to put a teleprompter behind you.  Yet he keeps reading it verbatim.
4. I remember dr. heinzen in microbiology doing the same thing, but he was a lot faster reader than this guy. A lot faster!
5. Dr. heinzen and this guy are a lot a like, in the fact that they think I'm too dumb to read it myself.  Seriously, print it out, or email beforehand, then have a fifteen minute meeting where people can ask questions.
6. You work for the government bill, people have to justify their jobs somehow.
7. The guy sitting in front of me looks a lot like the Andy Bernard from the Office. 
8. That pastry in front of him looks a little dry. 
9. When are they going to start bringing breakfast meats to meetings.  Why does it always have to be some confectionery delight which makes me hungrier. 
10. Mmmmm, Bacon!
11. The nard-dog is dipping his twirly pastry thing into his coffee mug.  I guess he thought it looked stale as well.
12. Now the guy up front is talking about cheese being moved.  I wish they would've told me there was cheese.  Its better than donuts, though not as good as bacon.  Probably on par with ham.
13. He keeps talking about change, but from the sounds of it, its his job that's changing not ours.  Why am I here?
14. Ol' nard-dog just took his second bite of the pastry, but this time he bit off a part of the napkin he is holding it with.
15. I don't think he realizes he is eating is napkin. 
16. I'm glad I didn't see the pastries when I came in.  If they can't be distinguished from paper during eating, then I don't need to eat it!
17. Now the guy up front is telling me to follow the cheese.  Could you just tell me where the cheese is, I'll go to it and then get back to my job since I'm already an hour and a half off schedule because of this meeting. 
18. Nard-dog has finished his pastry and about a quarter of his napkin. 
19. The presenter is now standing in front of the projector with half of his face lit up and the other half in the dark.
20. He really looks a tall geriatric version of Two-Face from Batman.
21. Is it ironic that the man in charge reminds me of Two-Face?
22. I should rent the Dark Knight some time.  that was a really good movie. 
23. I wonder what came in Netflix last night. 
24. Do DaNae and I have plans tonight?
25. Holy biting gnats Batman, I have to pee!
26. I should really lay off the water the first thing in the morning when I know I have a long meeting coming up.
27. I wonder how long a bladder can sit full before exploding. 
28. I remember Homer's dad's kidneys exploding on the Simpsons since he held it too long. If life were more cartoony, meetings might be funner.
29. Ah, Funner, how I wish you were a real word.  Like Pinocchio being a real boy!  But you aren't made of wood or have a nose that will betray you!
30. Really Harvey Dent? You are bringing up the cheese again.  I think we need to forget cheese.  Fry up some crispy bacon.  Actually its getting further from breakfast and closer to lunch, so we could take your cheese, melt it and throw in the bacon and cover some tortilla chips in the concoction.  And I could use the bathroom in the meantime! 

This is only a snapshot of my brain patterns and I honestly can't remember what was spoken about in the meeting, but they'll probably send me the PowerPoint in an email like they do every year when we have these meetings.  My bladder and sanity both survived the experience though, with only one of those two being a close call. 

Hope you are having a happy Tuesday!