...with the Scoffers!
Ever read something like a million times and then one day you read it and decide to look up one of the words, which you always assumed you knew, to find out what it means. And then once you do so the thing you have been reading takes on a whole new light?
Psalm 1:1 "Blessed is the man who....[doesn't] sit in the seat of scoffers."
I mean seriously I hadn't realized that I had taken the Scoffers' chair. I will gladly give it back and find my own to sit in. I prefer to be the blessed man, versus the seat stealer!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wearied by man....
...can't chase the horses!
I want to go to the moon! Literally.
But let me step back a day and tell you why I bring that up. I struggle with my perception of other's idiocy. I'm not saying that those people that I struggle with are idiots, I'm just saying that in my pride I see them as such and then I struggle with their actions internally, often causing massive amounts of stress for myself and sometimes poor responses on my part.
So last night I was driving home from job number two where there are multiple occasions to view other people's actions as idiocy (Thank God for the sanctification power of retail). And from my aerie of pride I got frustrated with an individual who changed a policy because of what looks like spite. I got frustrated mostly because it impacted me and others I like in a negative way (and productivity as a whole). I fumed silently and on my drive home I pondered why I held on to that stuff so much. Why I let others frustrate me so much. And then I saw the moon!
It was a full moon. The sky and surrounding plains were lit up like the Las Vegas strip at night, maybe a wee bit less garish. And I was struck by how small it looked yet how massive it really was all at the same time. I wanted to run across its face and let the moon dust sift between my fingers and just bask in the glory of God as I experience something he created that isn't much tainted by all of us. I wanted to explore all his creation and discover just how intricate he made it all.
Then it hit me that it'll be a long journey there if I continue to let others frustrate me so. I am reminded of a play in my heart that has been growing for the last couple weeks. A play that calls me to greater worship of something far bigger than myself. And I am struck small again and it feels good and refreshing.
As I was reading a passage from Jeremiah today, and Jeremiah complains to God about the usual woes and then God responds:
I want to go to the moon! Literally.
But let me step back a day and tell you why I bring that up. I struggle with my perception of other's idiocy. I'm not saying that those people that I struggle with are idiots, I'm just saying that in my pride I see them as such and then I struggle with their actions internally, often causing massive amounts of stress for myself and sometimes poor responses on my part.
So last night I was driving home from job number two where there are multiple occasions to view other people's actions as idiocy (Thank God for the sanctification power of retail). And from my aerie of pride I got frustrated with an individual who changed a policy because of what looks like spite. I got frustrated mostly because it impacted me and others I like in a negative way (and productivity as a whole). I fumed silently and on my drive home I pondered why I held on to that stuff so much. Why I let others frustrate me so much. And then I saw the moon!
It was a full moon. The sky and surrounding plains were lit up like the Las Vegas strip at night, maybe a wee bit less garish. And I was struck by how small it looked yet how massive it really was all at the same time. I wanted to run across its face and let the moon dust sift between my fingers and just bask in the glory of God as I experience something he created that isn't much tainted by all of us. I wanted to explore all his creation and discover just how intricate he made it all.
Then it hit me that it'll be a long journey there if I continue to let others frustrate me so. I am reminded of a play in my heart that has been growing for the last couple weeks. A play that calls me to greater worship of something far bigger than myself. And I am struck small again and it feels good and refreshing.
As I was reading a passage from Jeremiah today, and Jeremiah complains to God about the usual woes and then God responds:
"If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you,
how will you compete with horses?" Jeremiah 12:5
how will you compete with horses?" Jeremiah 12:5
I want to compete with horses! I want to go to the moon! I want to not live a life frustrated!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
The ants go marching...
...two by two!
Okay, this has nothing to do with my former adventures in pest control (summary of said adventures). This actually deals more with personal desires. They always say that you should set a time to do such and such and then stick to it! Usually this involves exercise or daily devotions and usually they tell you to do that at 5 am or something similarly ridiculous.
I have discovered that the morning was not made for me, but maybe its for all those type A go-getters out there in the world. I'm not type A. I don't think I can even transform into a type A person if I wanted to. I don't have that desire, so life is good. That actually makes me think of this:
Yeah, that dude isn't going to make it!
I've tried doing the early morning thing, but my bed has this gravitational pull that is so strong that even if I do leave its comfort, my brain stays with it in spirit. Ask my wife how responsive I am in the wee hours. She asked me the other day what time I came back to bed after comforting our older daughter who decided to wake up crying, very early in the morning. I don't recall even leaving our bedroom.
So usually I scoff at this advice, but today I've decided to try it. It won't be an early morning thing, because I want to write everyday and if I tried to demand that I write something first thing in the morning, my writing would be more incomprehensible than my two year-old's drawings.
My goal is two sentences written or wrote, damn I hate verbs, by two in the afternoon. 2 x 2. You might be thinking, Whoa, Bill, don't over do it! And I might smirk at your smart-ass nature, and then explain to you that most days when I get over the blankness of the page and actually start writing, it just starts flowing and before I know it, a page is filled. Much like this blog post that seems to be running on and on. I started writing today at 1:48pm and haven't stopped and that was twenty minutes ago. Its about momentum and I like it.
So if you see me and its three o'clock in the afternoon, feel free to ask if I got my two in for the day!
Okay, this has nothing to do with my former adventures in pest control (summary of said adventures). This actually deals more with personal desires. They always say that you should set a time to do such and such and then stick to it! Usually this involves exercise or daily devotions and usually they tell you to do that at 5 am or something similarly ridiculous.
I have discovered that the morning was not made for me, but maybe its for all those type A go-getters out there in the world. I'm not type A. I don't think I can even transform into a type A person if I wanted to. I don't have that desire, so life is good. That actually makes me think of this:
Yeah, that dude isn't going to make it!
I've tried doing the early morning thing, but my bed has this gravitational pull that is so strong that even if I do leave its comfort, my brain stays with it in spirit. Ask my wife how responsive I am in the wee hours. She asked me the other day what time I came back to bed after comforting our older daughter who decided to wake up crying, very early in the morning. I don't recall even leaving our bedroom.
So usually I scoff at this advice, but today I've decided to try it. It won't be an early morning thing, because I want to write everyday and if I tried to demand that I write something first thing in the morning, my writing would be more incomprehensible than my two year-old's drawings.
My goal is two sentences written or wrote, damn I hate verbs, by two in the afternoon. 2 x 2. You might be thinking, Whoa, Bill, don't over do it! And I might smirk at your smart-ass nature, and then explain to you that most days when I get over the blankness of the page and actually start writing, it just starts flowing and before I know it, a page is filled. Much like this blog post that seems to be running on and on. I started writing today at 1:48pm and haven't stopped and that was twenty minutes ago. Its about momentum and I like it.
So if you see me and its three o'clock in the afternoon, feel free to ask if I got my two in for the day!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The bug...
...that really isn't a bug.
I wrote yesterday and today. I had to come up with a fictional movie in my work of fiction. I named it the Metroplex of Doom. I kind of wish it were a real movie.
I wrote yesterday and today. I had to come up with a fictional movie in my work of fiction. I named it the Metroplex of Doom. I kind of wish it were a real movie.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The desert...
...and the itch!
I hate winter. I actually dig the cooler weather. I miss the snow here in Kansas, though when it does snow I miss having a dry driveway. The thing that I hate about winter is the mental miasma I hit every winter. There is a refreshing newness each spring which at some point begins to thaw my thoughts. I begin to have hope and ideas renewed.
If I could bottle it I would, but of course if rainbows were just unicorns farting then we would see more single horned horses.
I want to write, yet I waste my time looking for some new toy, playing some stupid game, or mentally strangling some nuisance. There are lots of ideas streaming through my head at any given moment but fear holds me back. As I write this I want to delete it because it seems dull and uninteresting but I am thinking I need to post it just to get out of the rut of not writing.
I want to set goals to write and finish some stories, but I suck at goals and then I get distracted and it doesn't happen I feel bad and wished it was physically possible to kick my own butt. So what do I do? How do I self-motivate when the voice of fear and procrastination scream louder than both my daughters combined?
I'll let you know when I finally figure out a way to scratch that itch....
I hate winter. I actually dig the cooler weather. I miss the snow here in Kansas, though when it does snow I miss having a dry driveway. The thing that I hate about winter is the mental miasma I hit every winter. There is a refreshing newness each spring which at some point begins to thaw my thoughts. I begin to have hope and ideas renewed.
If I could bottle it I would, but of course if rainbows were just unicorns farting then we would see more single horned horses.
I want to write, yet I waste my time looking for some new toy, playing some stupid game, or mentally strangling some nuisance. There are lots of ideas streaming through my head at any given moment but fear holds me back. As I write this I want to delete it because it seems dull and uninteresting but I am thinking I need to post it just to get out of the rut of not writing.
I want to set goals to write and finish some stories, but I suck at goals and then I get distracted and it doesn't happen I feel bad and wished it was physically possible to kick my own butt. So what do I do? How do I self-motivate when the voice of fear and procrastination scream louder than both my daughters combined?
I'll let you know when I finally figure out a way to scratch that itch....
Saturday, March 10, 2012
The whale...
...or was it an elephant?
You ever hear the one where some one asks you, 'how do you eat an elephant?' You might say, 'I don't know.' Personally, I would say, 'with a fork,' which usually causes the questioner to stumble and the joke gets ruined. But if you aren't a smart ass, like me, and say 'I don't know,' then the person would say, 'one bite at a time.'
Now I don't know why anyone would want to eat an elephant, unless of course its because you've already finished off the tiger, dolphin, and horse, but the concept is intriguing. Any large project, even one that might be small but is perceived to be big can use this idea to accomplish the goal. But seriously, the immensity of it gets me sometimes, well actually it gets me a lot of the time. Even setting small goals its hard to just start without the perfectionist mindset from setting in and stressing me into not starting.
I started digging holes in the yard tonight for my retaining wall, which I started working on last year. Maybe by the end of the weekend this elephant will be devoured and I can begin on the next.
I should find something far more appetizing than an elephant for my next entree...
You ever hear the one where some one asks you, 'how do you eat an elephant?' You might say, 'I don't know.' Personally, I would say, 'with a fork,' which usually causes the questioner to stumble and the joke gets ruined. But if you aren't a smart ass, like me, and say 'I don't know,' then the person would say, 'one bite at a time.'
Now I don't know why anyone would want to eat an elephant, unless of course its because you've already finished off the tiger, dolphin, and horse, but the concept is intriguing. Any large project, even one that might be small but is perceived to be big can use this idea to accomplish the goal. But seriously, the immensity of it gets me sometimes, well actually it gets me a lot of the time. Even setting small goals its hard to just start without the perfectionist mindset from setting in and stressing me into not starting.
I started digging holes in the yard tonight for my retaining wall, which I started working on last year. Maybe by the end of the weekend this elephant will be devoured and I can begin on the next.
I should find something far more appetizing than an elephant for my next entree...
Friday, March 2, 2012
Grumpiest old man...
...you must die!
We've all heard misery loves company. But company definitely doesn't love misery. Some days I feel like I'm company and a certain coworker is misery. The only problem with the whole thing is that I often get dragged down to misery's level and become miserable myself. I hate it. Often I start talking to someone and by the time I'm done I wonder if I sounded like a whiny little girl or a grumpy old man.
I'm pretty sure that I usually sound like an awful chimera of both.
How does this happen? I drive into work, usually after spending about ten minutes hanging with my wife and daughter in silence as my brain warms up to the fact that it is awake. Then while it finishes its boot up cycle I'm half way to work and the last ten minutes I either focus on the good parts of life or get angry at people who drive 30mph (in the left lane, no less) when the speed limit is 65mph, but that anger fades quickly. And I get to work with a pretty good attitude regardless.
Then I sit at my desk and eat some yogurt as I plan for my day and check the ol' email. Then into the lab I head. Ten minutes later I'm ready to throttle the old guy who doesn't have anything nice to say about anything or anyone. He seems angry and bitter about everything. His pay, all politicians, coworkers, construction workers, greeters at walmart, ants marching across his desk, and that guy that use to work with him 20 years ago! Blegh.
His attitude is corrosive. I just stick in my head phones and find something semi-positive to listen to, yet he comes in and waits for me to stop to take my earbuds out to listen to his latest complaint. Aaarrrgghhhh!!!!
I had to text my wife today for prayer so that I didn't stab him with my lefthanded scissors that he keeps buying me (I write left-handed, but after a lifetime of dealing with right-handed scissors, I'm a righty in my cutting habits). I had another coworker that told me he would help me dispose of the body.
I find myself thinking up devious ways to get back at him.
Then while trying to divert my thoughts from revenge today, I was reminded of a movie. Grumpy old men (go watch it if you haven't already). And I realized that is my life. We aren't competing for the love of a woman. I'm competing for my sanity. I think up ways to make him suffer (I haven't thrown dead fish into his car yet) and luckily he hasn't retaliated, or realized that I do anything to make his worker life harder, otherwise things would escalate like they do in the movie.
I actually haven't done a lot, I did pour a few granules of sugar on his desk to draw the ants away from mine, but at the time I was mad because he placed a full open bag on my desk, which really drew them towards my desk. That doesn't really justify anything, I'm just saying I'm turning into a grumpier old man and soon I'll be worse than him. I don't want that.
I want joy and peace in my life. To do that I need to kill the grumpy old man in me. Its hard. It'll take a lot of work. I'm going to have to humble myself. I might have to crank up the tunes in my earbuds or go deaf to block out some of the whining (doesn't Jesus say something about shoving pencils through your eardrums because its better to lose one, or two, parts of your body than to have it all thrown into hell? not a literal translation, but I do think it might work in this situation). Or I could just take Monday, Wednesday and Fridays off and never have to deal with him.
The last two might be unrealistic, so I guess I'll have to do some internal work on me.
Feel free to pray...
We've all heard misery loves company. But company definitely doesn't love misery. Some days I feel like I'm company and a certain coworker is misery. The only problem with the whole thing is that I often get dragged down to misery's level and become miserable myself. I hate it. Often I start talking to someone and by the time I'm done I wonder if I sounded like a whiny little girl or a grumpy old man.
I'm pretty sure that I usually sound like an awful chimera of both.
How does this happen? I drive into work, usually after spending about ten minutes hanging with my wife and daughter in silence as my brain warms up to the fact that it is awake. Then while it finishes its boot up cycle I'm half way to work and the last ten minutes I either focus on the good parts of life or get angry at people who drive 30mph (in the left lane, no less) when the speed limit is 65mph, but that anger fades quickly. And I get to work with a pretty good attitude regardless.
Then I sit at my desk and eat some yogurt as I plan for my day and check the ol' email. Then into the lab I head. Ten minutes later I'm ready to throttle the old guy who doesn't have anything nice to say about anything or anyone. He seems angry and bitter about everything. His pay, all politicians, coworkers, construction workers, greeters at walmart, ants marching across his desk, and that guy that use to work with him 20 years ago! Blegh.
His attitude is corrosive. I just stick in my head phones and find something semi-positive to listen to, yet he comes in and waits for me to stop to take my earbuds out to listen to his latest complaint. Aaarrrgghhhh!!!!
I had to text my wife today for prayer so that I didn't stab him with my lefthanded scissors that he keeps buying me (I write left-handed, but after a lifetime of dealing with right-handed scissors, I'm a righty in my cutting habits). I had another coworker that told me he would help me dispose of the body.
I find myself thinking up devious ways to get back at him.
Then while trying to divert my thoughts from revenge today, I was reminded of a movie. Grumpy old men (go watch it if you haven't already). And I realized that is my life. We aren't competing for the love of a woman. I'm competing for my sanity. I think up ways to make him suffer (I haven't thrown dead fish into his car yet) and luckily he hasn't retaliated, or realized that I do anything to make his worker life harder, otherwise things would escalate like they do in the movie.
I actually haven't done a lot, I did pour a few granules of sugar on his desk to draw the ants away from mine, but at the time I was mad because he placed a full open bag on my desk, which really drew them towards my desk. That doesn't really justify anything, I'm just saying I'm turning into a grumpier old man and soon I'll be worse than him. I don't want that.
I want joy and peace in my life. To do that I need to kill the grumpy old man in me. Its hard. It'll take a lot of work. I'm going to have to humble myself. I might have to crank up the tunes in my earbuds or go deaf to block out some of the whining (doesn't Jesus say something about shoving pencils through your eardrums because its better to lose one, or two, parts of your body than to have it all thrown into hell? not a literal translation, but I do think it might work in this situation). Or I could just take Monday, Wednesday and Fridays off and never have to deal with him.
The last two might be unrealistic, so I guess I'll have to do some internal work on me.
Feel free to pray...
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Grogginess is catching...
...run fast!
Yeah, I am feeling completely uninspired to do anything. I've yet to X off a single day since I set the goal last week and I think each day I don't do it adds another day's burden to my shoulders which inspires me to do it less and less out of condemnation and guilt.
It's a horrible downward spiral. The question does need to be asked as to why I succeeded for so long last year when this year I seem to be having a hard time making it out of the starting gate. Could it be working two jobs while trying to have a relationship with my wife and daughter is too much for my brain to handle and laziness sets in too easy when I'm not having to do any of those things? Or maybe the lack of confidence I have in my writing scares me toward inaction.
Maybe just having a 15 month old climbing all over me while I'm trying to write is more detrimental to my success than I might have originally guessed...tomorrow is a new day.
Yeah, I am feeling completely uninspired to do anything. I've yet to X off a single day since I set the goal last week and I think each day I don't do it adds another day's burden to my shoulders which inspires me to do it less and less out of condemnation and guilt.
It's a horrible downward spiral. The question does need to be asked as to why I succeeded for so long last year when this year I seem to be having a hard time making it out of the starting gate. Could it be working two jobs while trying to have a relationship with my wife and daughter is too much for my brain to handle and laziness sets in too easy when I'm not having to do any of those things? Or maybe the lack of confidence I have in my writing scares me toward inaction.
Maybe just having a 15 month old climbing all over me while I'm trying to write is more detrimental to my success than I might have originally guessed...tomorrow is a new day.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Play in the mud...
...or dine on pizza?
Yep, as a kid I don't think it ever crossed my mind that I may have to decide between those two activities rather than just shirking all responsibilities and enjoying both delights. But alas, I'm a grown up now with responsibilities.
Its gorgeous out, at least it was the last time I went outside, and with the warm weather and recent precipitation, I'm betting I can easily dig a couple holes in my backyard and try to finish up a project that I started last fall.
Yet, I have to work tonight. And last week, one of the guys challenged us to get the truck unloaded and shelves stocked by 12:30 and we did. Now he has to buy us pizza tonight.
So I could go home and work on a project or I could just work and make some dough while eating some cheese and meat covered dough (please note that I'm speaking of two different kinds of dough here).
See children, life as a grown up isn't all fun and games! Of course if I had planned better I could've gotten out of here earlier, gone home worked in the yard, showered and then been in to eat pizza and unload a truck....sigh...
See children, if you learn plan ahead life can be all fun and games!
***Update*** After venturing outside at lunch I have determined that its getting cold and windy and decided playing in the mud this afternoon wouldn't have been fun after all. Which makes this entire post somewhat pointless. Oh well.
Yep, as a kid I don't think it ever crossed my mind that I may have to decide between those two activities rather than just shirking all responsibilities and enjoying both delights. But alas, I'm a grown up now with responsibilities.
Its gorgeous out, at least it was the last time I went outside, and with the warm weather and recent precipitation, I'm betting I can easily dig a couple holes in my backyard and try to finish up a project that I started last fall.
Yet, I have to work tonight. And last week, one of the guys challenged us to get the truck unloaded and shelves stocked by 12:30 and we did. Now he has to buy us pizza tonight.
So I could go home and work on a project or I could just work and make some dough while eating some cheese and meat covered dough (please note that I'm speaking of two different kinds of dough here).
See children, life as a grown up isn't all fun and games! Of course if I had planned better I could've gotten out of here earlier, gone home worked in the yard, showered and then been in to eat pizza and unload a truck....sigh...
See children, if you learn plan ahead life can be all fun and games!
***Update*** After venturing outside at lunch I have determined that its getting cold and windy and decided playing in the mud this afternoon wouldn't have been fun after all. Which makes this entire post somewhat pointless. Oh well.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Paid Crastinator...
...that's when I'll know I'm a pro!
So yesterday I did one thing to further my goal of setting up goals for the year. Ha.
I printed out a calender so I can X out the days when I accomplish my goal, but I never really set my goals. And after much thought I've decided to take it easy and set two goals for daily improvement.
1) Write one page of fiction or edit three pages of completed stories (I kinda stole this one from the author of the article that I got the idea from, and blogging doesn't count. But it feels doable and I hopefully won't set myself up for failure. And if I do write one page a day, I can easily knock out a book or two a year.)
2) Do something constructive at home. (You might say that if I do number 1 at home then number 2 is done, but I mean something that betters the home, whether spraying weeds, mowing, raking leaves, trimming trees, doing dishes, taking out the trash, doing laundry, etc. Most days, especially now that I'm working two jobs I get home and veg. This isn't conducive to having a nice yard for my daughter to play in, or contributing to a clean house, which I prefer.)
There you go. I think its manageable and it'll help me get closer to where I want to be in the future. I do need to figure out what I'm going to do on sick days, or holiday and traveling days. But maybe I should quit procrastinating and just go start writing.
So yesterday I did one thing to further my goal of setting up goals for the year. Ha.
I printed out a calender so I can X out the days when I accomplish my goal, but I never really set my goals. And after much thought I've decided to take it easy and set two goals for daily improvement.
1) Write one page of fiction or edit three pages of completed stories (I kinda stole this one from the author of the article that I got the idea from, and blogging doesn't count. But it feels doable and I hopefully won't set myself up for failure. And if I do write one page a day, I can easily knock out a book or two a year.)
2) Do something constructive at home. (You might say that if I do number 1 at home then number 2 is done, but I mean something that betters the home, whether spraying weeds, mowing, raking leaves, trimming trees, doing dishes, taking out the trash, doing laundry, etc. Most days, especially now that I'm working two jobs I get home and veg. This isn't conducive to having a nice yard for my daughter to play in, or contributing to a clean house, which I prefer.)
There you go. I think its manageable and it'll help me get closer to where I want to be in the future. I do need to figure out what I'm going to do on sick days, or holiday and traveling days. But maybe I should quit procrastinating and just go start writing.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Something like that...
...almost!
So last year I set the goal of writing more and it actually worked for a time being. About 6 months. Then life got busy chaotic with summer and bug collections across the western United States, and I broke the chain so to speak. I've been struggling to re-motivate myself again. I finished writing a book and then its sat. and sat. and sat some more.
In the meantime I've had about a dozen more story ideas. I really wish I knew a ghost writer who could just take my ideas and create the stories, or a machine that could just read my thoughts and jot it all down. But since neither of those is going to happen in the immediate future, I need to quit being lazy.
So tonight while taking a breather from playing with Charleigh I came across this article:
http://lifehacker.com/5886128/how-seinfelds-productivity-secret-fixed-my-procrastination-problem
Its a similar idea to what I did last year, but with a more long term view. So beginning tomorrow I'm going to write it all out, and find me a calender to mark stuff off of. I'm not seriously procrastinating on starting my new project, its just that its almost 10pm and I'm tired and have a 13 hour work day tomorrow. Anyways, I'm excited to get back into the swing of things again. I even started jotting down the major I ideas I have for the next book that I want to start writing. Woo hoo. And maybe on the days I don't write I can begin editing my book from last year so I can maybe start trying to get it published.
So last year I set the goal of writing more and it actually worked for a time being. About 6 months. Then life got busy chaotic with summer and bug collections across the western United States, and I broke the chain so to speak. I've been struggling to re-motivate myself again. I finished writing a book and then its sat. and sat. and sat some more.
In the meantime I've had about a dozen more story ideas. I really wish I knew a ghost writer who could just take my ideas and create the stories, or a machine that could just read my thoughts and jot it all down. But since neither of those is going to happen in the immediate future, I need to quit being lazy.
So tonight while taking a breather from playing with Charleigh I came across this article:
http://lifehacker.com/5886128/how-seinfelds-productivity-secret-fixed-my-procrastination-problem
Its a similar idea to what I did last year, but with a more long term view. So beginning tomorrow I'm going to write it all out, and find me a calender to mark stuff off of. I'm not seriously procrastinating on starting my new project, its just that its almost 10pm and I'm tired and have a 13 hour work day tomorrow. Anyways, I'm excited to get back into the swing of things again. I even started jotting down the major I ideas I have for the next book that I want to start writing. Woo hoo. And maybe on the days I don't write I can begin editing my book from last year so I can maybe start trying to get it published.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Knowledge and Identity...
...lessons from my daughter.
We have been working with Charleigh on signing so that its easier for her to communicate with us. It hasn't been very successful, but I still try to use some of the signs that we know or made up while talking to her. I made up one where I point to myself, draw a heart on my chest and then point to her while telling her that I love her.
At first when I started doing this I would get a big grin out of her. Now when I do it she will sometimes still get that same grin and then point to herself. Her mom keeps trying to teach her to say it back, but I honestly wouldn't care if she did, I just want her to know that I love her, that she can find comfort and rest in that. When I see her point to herself I think to myself that she knows she is an object of her father's affection.
I want her to grow up confident in the fact that she has two parents who love her no matter what and that there is a God in heaven that loves her even more than either of us could ever imagine.
I have been told that having children gives you a new perspective on God. And I have to admit that it does. I just wish that it was easier to form that identity in my heart and mind that I'm an object of affection to God (like my daughter seems to have when it comes to her parents). There's no bigger testament to his love than the Jesus death, burial, and resurrection. Yet when He says He loves me, I don't grin and point to myself, secure in that knowledge. Sometimes I struggle in accepting that love and grace. Sometimes I doubt his delight in me. I'm kinda jealous of my daughter in all honesty.
I have a lot to learn, and I'm glad He has blessed us with our daughter to reveal more of Himself to us...to me!
We have been working with Charleigh on signing so that its easier for her to communicate with us. It hasn't been very successful, but I still try to use some of the signs that we know or made up while talking to her. I made up one where I point to myself, draw a heart on my chest and then point to her while telling her that I love her.
At first when I started doing this I would get a big grin out of her. Now when I do it she will sometimes still get that same grin and then point to herself. Her mom keeps trying to teach her to say it back, but I honestly wouldn't care if she did, I just want her to know that I love her, that she can find comfort and rest in that. When I see her point to herself I think to myself that she knows she is an object of her father's affection.
I want her to grow up confident in the fact that she has two parents who love her no matter what and that there is a God in heaven that loves her even more than either of us could ever imagine.
I have been told that having children gives you a new perspective on God. And I have to admit that it does. I just wish that it was easier to form that identity in my heart and mind that I'm an object of affection to God (like my daughter seems to have when it comes to her parents). There's no bigger testament to his love than the Jesus death, burial, and resurrection. Yet when He says He loves me, I don't grin and point to myself, secure in that knowledge. Sometimes I struggle in accepting that love and grace. Sometimes I doubt his delight in me. I'm kinda jealous of my daughter in all honesty.
I have a lot to learn, and I'm glad He has blessed us with our daughter to reveal more of Himself to us...to me!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Of Pencil Lead and Phonebooks...
...some days I'm glad I don't work full time in IT.
Today I was trying to get a copy of some paperwork, for tax reasons, so I had to run across the parking lot several times to reach the fax machine each time the lady, in a remote part of the country, tried to send it to me. It didn't happen the first couple times and then she finally got it to work, only she sent it through wrong and I only got two blank pages. I'm not complaining because it gave me some quality time, away from the desk, with fresh air (even though the air was thick with smoke from all the people running their chimney's last night, I assume).
During one of my trips I ran into a coworker who I hadn't seen in awhile. He stopped me and asked me how to transfer a file from one machine to another. I told him the easiest way was probably with a thumb drive. His native language isn't english so he tried explaining his dilemma to me despite the fat I had just shared my wisdom, a moment before, on how to remedy his problem. Finally he asked if he could use the 'chip' that he had. I got clarification that the 'chip' was a thumbdrive and said yes. He ran down the hall to his office to grab the 'chip' while I chatted with another coworker.
Moments later he returns and hands me a long slender piece of plastic. I tell him that the object he just gave me is a container of pencil lead and not a thumbdrive. He looked at me curiously. I popped the cap off and poured the lead into my hand and said it goes in a pencil. He smiled and laughed and went back looking for his 'chip', which he never found.
It reminded me of a similar incident a couple years before when I was in Laramie. I was needing a thumbdrive to transfer some files and I stopped by one coworker's office and asked he had one. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yes, hold on a sec." He turned to his desk and picked up a phonebook. I assumed the thumbdrive was buried on his desk, but no, he handed me the phonebook.
I said, "No, not a phone book, a thumbdrive!"
He then replied, "Sorry, I don't have one of those." He took his phonebook back and turned around. As I was leaving, he turned back and asked, "What the hell is a thumbdrive?"
Maybe I should just carry a couple of them on me at work at all times. It might make things simpler, plus I could scan documents and put them on there so I don't accidentally throw important tax documents away and spend the afternoon trying to receive them back...
Today I was trying to get a copy of some paperwork, for tax reasons, so I had to run across the parking lot several times to reach the fax machine each time the lady, in a remote part of the country, tried to send it to me. It didn't happen the first couple times and then she finally got it to work, only she sent it through wrong and I only got two blank pages. I'm not complaining because it gave me some quality time, away from the desk, with fresh air (even though the air was thick with smoke from all the people running their chimney's last night, I assume).
During one of my trips I ran into a coworker who I hadn't seen in awhile. He stopped me and asked me how to transfer a file from one machine to another. I told him the easiest way was probably with a thumb drive. His native language isn't english so he tried explaining his dilemma to me despite the fat I had just shared my wisdom, a moment before, on how to remedy his problem. Finally he asked if he could use the 'chip' that he had. I got clarification that the 'chip' was a thumbdrive and said yes. He ran down the hall to his office to grab the 'chip' while I chatted with another coworker.
Moments later he returns and hands me a long slender piece of plastic. I tell him that the object he just gave me is a container of pencil lead and not a thumbdrive. He looked at me curiously. I popped the cap off and poured the lead into my hand and said it goes in a pencil. He smiled and laughed and went back looking for his 'chip', which he never found.
It reminded me of a similar incident a couple years before when I was in Laramie. I was needing a thumbdrive to transfer some files and I stopped by one coworker's office and asked he had one. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yes, hold on a sec." He turned to his desk and picked up a phonebook. I assumed the thumbdrive was buried on his desk, but no, he handed me the phonebook.
I said, "No, not a phone book, a thumbdrive!"
He then replied, "Sorry, I don't have one of those." He took his phonebook back and turned around. As I was leaving, he turned back and asked, "What the hell is a thumbdrive?"
Maybe I should just carry a couple of them on me at work at all times. It might make things simpler, plus I could scan documents and put them on there so I don't accidentally throw important tax documents away and spend the afternoon trying to receive them back...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wish I had a cat...
...then I could convince myself I'm just coughing up hairballs.
Seriously, I thought nighttime cold medicine would knock me out and suppress such things, but 10 minutes after I dozed off I woke up feeling like something was clawing its way up my throat. Now I can't not cough. Hopefully a cough drop will fix it and I can get more sleep.
Note to self, you need to write more. And read less, its either that or quit working...
Seriously, I thought nighttime cold medicine would knock me out and suppress such things, but 10 minutes after I dozed off I woke up feeling like something was clawing its way up my throat. Now I can't not cough. Hopefully a cough drop will fix it and I can get more sleep.
Note to self, you need to write more. And read less, its either that or quit working...
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
In the sky...
Is it superman? no. Is it a plane? no. Its tweeting so it must be a bird. Nope it just bill joining twitter. Yep I joined twitter (@billysixtoes) today. And why did I join? Amazon was offering a free $5 streaming video credit if you started following them. I'm cheap as Josh says. I guess I need to learn about hashtags now...
Monday, August 29, 2011
A walk to forget...
I walked, it wasn't vigorous, but it was with my wife and baby, and that made it nice. The humidity didn't make it nice, but it was bearable. I didn't write, but there is still a few hours left in today. Maybe I'll just have to go ahead and do that...
still don't know about the race horse thing...
still don't know about the race horse thing...
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Return...
The summer hasn't been kind to me, but I feel the energy returning despite the horrid heat. I think its time to return to my new years resolution of setting monthly resolutions. I wanna write and I wanna dance. Wait that isn't right. I want to write and I want to scuba dive. Nope, not quite. I want to write and be more active.
So there are three or four more days left in this month so I'm going to say my goal for this month is to mow the lawn.
Woo hoo, I accomplished my goal!!!
Oh okay that feels good. I'm already off to a great start. So what do I wanna accomplish for September. I'm torn between setting a single goal and setting two different goals to try and accomplish. I tried the running thing while writing back in March and April with poor results. But part of that was that I got sick both months. So maybe I should start off small on both fronts since I haven't done either.
How about I walk vigorously for three to four times a week, and get back into writing by spewing out 500 words a day....should be somewhat easy to accomplish and not to draining. I might also try to cut down on the number of times I use periods consecutively in any given post. I've only done it once in this one, but I've been known to abuse them in the past on here and on facebook. The period police might come searching for me soon. Oh no!....
on an unrelated note, why do people say they have to pee like a race horse? Do race horses pee more than regular horses?
So there are three or four more days left in this month so I'm going to say my goal for this month is to mow the lawn.
Woo hoo, I accomplished my goal!!!
Oh okay that feels good. I'm already off to a great start. So what do I wanna accomplish for September. I'm torn between setting a single goal and setting two different goals to try and accomplish. I tried the running thing while writing back in March and April with poor results. But part of that was that I got sick both months. So maybe I should start off small on both fronts since I haven't done either.
How about I walk vigorously for three to four times a week, and get back into writing by spewing out 500 words a day....should be somewhat easy to accomplish and not to draining. I might also try to cut down on the number of times I use periods consecutively in any given post. I've only done it once in this one, but I've been known to abuse them in the past on here and on facebook. The period police might come searching for me soon. Oh no!....
on an unrelated note, why do people say they have to pee like a race horse? Do race horses pee more than regular horses?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Parei-what....
I said Pareidolia.
What's that, you might ask. Well let me tell you.
pareidolia (ˌpæraɪˈdəʊlɪə)
-n
the imagined perception of a pattern or meaning where it does not actually exist, as in considering the moon to have human features (def courtesy of dictionary.com)
I just learned the word today when I saw someone posting pics of peoples burnt toast. The burnt toast supposedly has the image of Christ in it and others had Mary.
And then the thought hit me, if God has chosen toasted bread to reveal his son to the world, should I slow down while eating breakfast just in case he has some special message for me. Then I remembered that I don't eat toast for breakfast. I do yogurt on the weekdays and on the weekends I tend to eat eggs scrambled by my wife which she then places on tortillas. Adding a little salsa and cheese and they are great. Sometimes I even get some sausage on them.
Will I miss out on a word from God cause I'm eating my breakfast with south of the border flatbread rather than good ol' American burnt bread? Should I start a ministry where we send loaves of bread along with toasters to people all over the world so they can have God reveal Jesus, or Mary, to them via scorched bread?
Maybe I'll have to invent a solar powered toaster for people in countries that don't have access to electricity. Mmmm, solar powered toast! I'll have to give this some thought...
What's that, you might ask. Well let me tell you.
pareidolia (ˌpæraɪˈdəʊlɪə)
-n
the imagined perception of a pattern or meaning where it does not actually exist, as in considering the moon to have human features (def courtesy of dictionary.com)
I just learned the word today when I saw someone posting pics of peoples burnt toast. The burnt toast supposedly has the image of Christ in it and others had Mary.
And then the thought hit me, if God has chosen toasted bread to reveal his son to the world, should I slow down while eating breakfast just in case he has some special message for me. Then I remembered that I don't eat toast for breakfast. I do yogurt on the weekdays and on the weekends I tend to eat eggs scrambled by my wife which she then places on tortillas. Adding a little salsa and cheese and they are great. Sometimes I even get some sausage on them.
Will I miss out on a word from God cause I'm eating my breakfast with south of the border flatbread rather than good ol' American burnt bread? Should I start a ministry where we send loaves of bread along with toasters to people all over the world so they can have God reveal Jesus, or Mary, to them via scorched bread?
Maybe I'll have to invent a solar powered toaster for people in countries that don't have access to electricity. Mmmm, solar powered toast! I'll have to give this some thought...
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
'Nother blegh...
Life feels cluttered right now. Cluttered with decisions, busy-ness, stress and concerns. Part of the problem with that for the last month all of that was put on hold while we traveled. Now I'm back to the grind and the things which were on hold are now back in full view.
I've been dealing with some physical issues and have to wait til I see the doctor on the 16th to find out if I should be worried about it or not.
I need to start looking for another source of income (read: second job) so we can stay afloat for a year or so until we can get another kid in the daycare.
I have some things piling up at work and have to wait some time to get them done because it seems like the people I need to speak to are out of town at the moment.
And its freaking hot outside.
All these things combined are crushing my inspiration. I want to write again. I want to finish the story I'm currently working on. I want to do a second draft of the story I've already finished.
I need refreshing. I want to feel reinvigorated...
I've been dealing with some physical issues and have to wait til I see the doctor on the 16th to find out if I should be worried about it or not.
I need to start looking for another source of income (read: second job) so we can stay afloat for a year or so until we can get another kid in the daycare.
I have some things piling up at work and have to wait some time to get them done because it seems like the people I need to speak to are out of town at the moment.
And its freaking hot outside.
All these things combined are crushing my inspiration. I want to write again. I want to finish the story I'm currently working on. I want to do a second draft of the story I've already finished.
I need refreshing. I want to feel reinvigorated...
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