Ugh, I hate home ownership...

...most days.

I'm sitting here watching Chad, from roto-rooter, snaking our drain and for every second that I hear is whirling machine spin, I hear the coins plummeting from my bank account.  And I think that is the root of my stress.  I hate things that cost me money, money that I could spend on buying orphans shoes, friend's dinners, goats for third world countries, a decent book, gas for the car.  Money stresses me out.  I know we owe the bank 122 grand for my house and we owe another 14 grand on our last student loan and well thats all the debt we have, which is considerably less than other people but I hate debt more than home ownership.

If I weren't in debt, I could tip this guy an extra $100 and just say God bless ya man!  But no, I decided to tell the bank I would rather tip them several hundred dollars every month for the next thirty years, down to 29 almost, and if I walk into the bank they have no idea that I contribute in some way to their salaries (of course I know that everyone who pays their taxes contributes to mine, so I shouldn't be bitter on this point).

If I weren't in debt, DaNae wouldn't have to work and we would still be able to live comfortably.  But I don't want to just live comfortably.  I want to give.  I was somewhat sarcastic at the beginning about giving to orphans and third world countries, and ministries. But I have a serious heart for that, but the debt grips my heart and I stress! Then I just say Ugh and maybe throw up a little, and wish I were the kind of person who could drown their sorrows in boozes.

But I'm not that kind of guy.  I realize I surrender my will to God, and trust that even though I made the mistake of taking on debt that is seriously hard to overcome at the moment and which prevents me from giving the way he wants me to, his grace will overcome and provide.  And now that Chad is almost done, I will be able to sleep tonight rather than trying to keep one eye on the floor drain to make sure it doesn't flood the basement, which aid me in having a happier heart tomorrow.  Thank you God for your grace and for Chad!